Lacking Courage Under Fire?

Opening the fridge, I pause again.  She's smiling at me.  I love seeing her happy face and remembering. Do it, Dede!  She was such the cheerleader.

I feel the flames all around me.  Burning from the inside out... yet smothering the embers is a feat near impossible. So after years of holding the fan by my side, I wave it.

Twelve years ago, I held the honor of riding shot-gun beside a pistol of girl.  She had a dream.  She allowed me to ride on her coat tails as we reigned at her dining room table. We donned all of the other protective regalia necessary to battle the literary storm ahead.  A book festival.

We researched, planned, devised, schemed, designed and placed a beautiful event to recognize talented authors and reach a community thirsty for words.  Not once, twice but three times.

My friend Pippi and I created a chalkboard dream and transformed it into a masterpiece oil painting.

I hope someone remembers it just like I do.

The Atlanta Literary Festival was a great success for a few local girls. Considering it was birthed in the dining room of a cozy two bedroom apartment in Riverdale, GA with "Jaws" probably playing in background.  We were blessed and inspired by many amazing authors and storytellers.  I hope some them will remember us as I finally branch out.  Mostly, I hope they always remember her talent, her passion to create and invoke worth!

She & I were both strong willed and creative souls.  Passionate about the written and spoken word. She realized her dream and lost her life in the process.  Guilt still encompasses mine. Regrets and the desire to deliver more.  It was always our plan.

We lost my Pippi, Lynn Chante' Whitley, on October 15th, 2006.  She saw her dream transformed and only hoped my would eventually graze the surface.  Chewing my cud as I write.

Here's to you, Pippi!

I love you~

Dip

Thinking Big

House hunting can be viewed as an adventure or a chore depending on the circumstances.  My son and his wife spent several months house hunting so they could be closer to their church.  For them, it has been an adventure. After spending the beginning of their married life in an apartment, they are making a lateral move to a rental home.  My daughter-in-law posted this morning "How can 18 days seem so long?"  I believe she is a little anxious and excited.

On the other hand, I have been "House" hunting for a few years now.  Easily discouraged, I take my thoughts of settling into a new House - off the market. Let's call it a chore for me.

This morning, I decided to go to an "open House".  There were two choices. I went with my second choice and it wasn't too uncomfortable.

Two family friends met us there.

The neighbors were nice, the lighting was good, the mood music was familiar and actually quite amazing.  The "Realtor" delivered his spiel, complete with many analogies, antidotes and proverbial references.

The information I walked away with was actually useful.

How To Overcome The Fear of Failure.

1. Remember everyone fails.
2. Realize failure is not FATAL.
3. Recognize the benefits of failure.
4. Relax in God's Grace.

Okay, I bet you guessed it.  Been "House" hunting a long time.  This may not be the "House" for us but I am always happy when I take something with me.  Another "open House" is scheduled for next Sunday.

Thought for the week:  THINK BIG!

You are not a failure unless you quit!

So go change your big people underpants, throw them in the washer (don't forget the fabric softener & bleach if necessary) and start a new week with fresh, clean thoughts.

Make a small list of goals only YOU can achieve.
And if you you don't achieve them, start all over again next week.
Educate, motivate, cultivate.  Game on!

Thanks for stopping by.

Change of Heart

Months ago I thought I would begin a blog.  I forgot my socks and my slippers.  I got cold feet. A few months passed, I began writing for just me.  A problem I have as a writer - writing for me and not sharing.

And so I began to share.  I found a contest for non-fiction essays and I submitted.  The first one was lost in cyber world and I wrote it Johnny-On-The-Spot and didn't save it - so....not only do I not know if it was even received, I haven't a copy!

The second one was accepted but I failed to check my email in a timely manner and I missed out with the editor and it was passed over for this year's holiday submissions. Sad Face!  My self esteem boosted a little, I pressed on.

Two more submissions.  Sweet - too wordy, too many flashbacks, we have too many stories just like this, etc...Thank you very much, Danny. (Keep Working). You may read these essays within this site.

Finally! I submit a story of friendship and it is not only accepted but wins the weekly contest.  You can read it at www.midlifecollage.com in Winner's Circle or the Archives.  The title is "Friends Revisted".  My private title for the story is "Safety Net".  Thanks to all of you who voted for the story.  The original unedited version is posted on this site as a page.

So much has happened to me internally during the past few months and I am on a journey I am unable to describe but I am certainly disenchanted but definitely NOT disillusioned.

Join me for the journey?

More soon.

Danny

Welcome

written October 2011
it took me over FOUR months to commit!

Welcome to MY whacked out world.  We all have our own versions. Some resemble normalcy and others are on the verge of destruction.  Mine probably borders the edges of both whacked out universes.

Recently I awoke and realized I am almost a half century year old!  I turned 48 a couple of weeks ago and have been planning this blog thing for a couple years now.  I actually started it up about 18 months ago and this is as far as I got - the start up page - well actually it was another start up page - but you get it, I hope.

In fact, I was taking a sabbatical in the beautiful NC Smokey Mountains.  I knew my plan. Writing. Cleansing my soul, soothing my spirit. With spirals of notebooks stacked high, pens and laptop, I prepared.  Inspired by the movie, "Julie/Julia".

My mother, a writer, had passed away the previous year, another inspiration.  The main purpose for this sabbatical. BUT the jump-start came after seeing that blasted movie.  I actually wrote the title down on a sticky note and gave it to my husband - making him put it in his wallet.  The note read: " MAKE ME WATCH "Julie/Julia" whenever I get like THIS!"

My sister is a super blogger and now a newspaper columnist.  Embarrassing to say, I am an avid reader, a professional storyteller teller, a former teacher and the co-founder of a major literary book festival and still I have been afraid to tackle this project.

I walk around daily, writing in my head.  I am the maker of lists and scenarios.  However,  I need to put it out there for someone to see.  Maybe it is you.  If you enjoy it, share it.  If you relate to it - please tell me. If you hate it, that's okay - I can take it.  But remember, I am blogging about my real life.  It's not a competition - this is not fiction.  I might throw a little fiction in here and there but I will clarify and declare.

We all have opinions - sure we do and we all have...what? Yes - we do! We can all deliver and some times, we stink.  I would appreciate a little grace and hope here.  I know there will be a few laughs and tears...

Thanks for stopping in.